processing? processing what?
Two weeks have quietly passed since the 'd-day'. To my relief, the stress has not quite acted on me yet - having run all the errands and done all the chores concerning my semester leave I find myself watching each second passes by purposelessly (with the aid of re-re-re-runs on my cableless TV), which feels great.
But the relaxed mode did not last long. I did not hesitate at all to, finally, dwell into processing - a programming environment that I refrained from touching last semester. To a great extent I consider my ignorance in programming environments a shame - was it a good thing that I got around Mark's studio without scripting a single line? Anyhow, my first attempt was proved unproductive - mostly due to the fact that my TV is on during the whole time while I was reading about the basic syntaxes of processing. But with my currentl level of adrenalin I think it is impressive enough that I could gather my will to at least get started.
For the same reason, my mind was wandering in outer space yesterday for my kids' final review. I first came late for the preparation of the room, swanned off multiple times during Bill's clown show and constantly gazed at the air particles (and the trajectory of his saliva droplets) whenever he spoke. Lame as it may sound but I blamed my 'depraved indifference' towards the organization of the review on our different views on architecture. At least subconsciously I wanted to show how much disrespect I have for him. A sensitive gay man of his age, of course, did not miss my somewhat blatant display of rebellion. I was waiting to see when that bubble of 'puritan/ anglo-saxon impartiality' would be engulfed by pure anger, which, to my surprise, did not emerge (though came pretty close). The price of entertaining myself by being a prick is, of course, a decent reference letter. Well, why should I care?
Perhaps I would care had he not invited that silly eunuch to my crit room. His apparent lack of self-confidence among his professional peers clearly fueled an 'inspiring' speech for the first year kids. Unfortunately however, his monologue did not translate into love and respect - at least from my point of view, since the more he spoke, the more I felt the urge to poke at him. I was even a little concerned when yung-ho came in - what an embarassment, to have invited a critic of that quality.
I do notice that whenever I carry that hubris around with me something bad is destined to happen. I have not a single reason to bring up the miracle of science episode again - what more could I say? karma turned around and bite me.
all these blend description of how a day passed by like water running down a stream... give me another day - perhaps my diary will be enriched by a few images of some processing stuff of which I would be proud?
But the relaxed mode did not last long. I did not hesitate at all to, finally, dwell into processing - a programming environment that I refrained from touching last semester. To a great extent I consider my ignorance in programming environments a shame - was it a good thing that I got around Mark's studio without scripting a single line? Anyhow, my first attempt was proved unproductive - mostly due to the fact that my TV is on during the whole time while I was reading about the basic syntaxes of processing. But with my currentl level of adrenalin I think it is impressive enough that I could gather my will to at least get started.
For the same reason, my mind was wandering in outer space yesterday for my kids' final review. I first came late for the preparation of the room, swanned off multiple times during Bill's clown show and constantly gazed at the air particles (and the trajectory of his saliva droplets) whenever he spoke. Lame as it may sound but I blamed my 'depraved indifference' towards the organization of the review on our different views on architecture. At least subconsciously I wanted to show how much disrespect I have for him. A sensitive gay man of his age, of course, did not miss my somewhat blatant display of rebellion. I was waiting to see when that bubble of 'puritan/ anglo-saxon impartiality' would be engulfed by pure anger, which, to my surprise, did not emerge (though came pretty close). The price of entertaining myself by being a prick is, of course, a decent reference letter. Well, why should I care?
Perhaps I would care had he not invited that silly eunuch to my crit room. His apparent lack of self-confidence among his professional peers clearly fueled an 'inspiring' speech for the first year kids. Unfortunately however, his monologue did not translate into love and respect - at least from my point of view, since the more he spoke, the more I felt the urge to poke at him. I was even a little concerned when yung-ho came in - what an embarassment, to have invited a critic of that quality.
I do notice that whenever I carry that hubris around with me something bad is destined to happen. I have not a single reason to bring up the miracle of science episode again - what more could I say? karma turned around and bite me.
all these blend description of how a day passed by like water running down a stream... give me another day - perhaps my diary will be enriched by a few images of some processing stuff of which I would be proud?
posted by ckdw at 11:15 PM
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